A Very Nutty Business Meeting
by cavy8
Summary: Mr. Peanut meets with a business associate who carries bad news.


A Very Nutty Business Meeting

Bartholomew Fitzgerald-Smythe sat at his desk, wiping his monocle to remove the filth. _The filth that covers every inch of this office_, he thought to himself drily. Smythe didn't like grime, nor was he accustomed to it. At the moment, there wasn't much he could do about it. Starting an empire was difficult work, and he didn't have the time or resources to invest in a nicer working space. For now, the grime would have to do. For now. He shifted his attention to the papers on his desk. A report on the most recent failure of one of his business partners.

Pitcher Man.

Pitcher Man was a corporate saboteur. The usefulness of such an agent couldn't be understated, though Pitcher Man's effectiveness in his role was constantly diminishing. This most recent job is a testament to his regression. Pitcher Man was supposed to deal with a rising competitor in the nut industry – _Hines Nut Company_ – who has already started to encroach upon his market share. Though many of the details were left to the discretion of Pitcher Man and his associates, Smythe had insisted on one detail; the Hines family could not know that they had been sabotaged. It had to appear as if their economic failure was due to their own mistakes. This was about more than hindering their growth, it was about breaking their spirits. A broken person would eventually give up.

Pitcher Man failed at this responsibility, just as he had failed a number of jobs in the past two years. The two years since the birth of his son, Kool-Aid. Smythe scoffed to himself. Pitcher Man wasn't able to separate his business from his personal life, and even named his son along the ridiculous standards of his professional identity. Smythe knew better. While his private friends knew him as Bartholomew Fitzgerald-Smythe, the world knew him by a different name. The world knew him by a professional moniker; Mr. Peanut.

There was a knock at the door. Smythe sighed. It was time to deal with the problem. He tapped a button on his desk, signaling the visitor to enter. While he waited, Smythe prepared himself for intimidation. He adopted his top hat and professional demeanor. No longer was he Smythe, he was Mr. Peanut.

The door creaked open, and Cherry Packet stepped into the room. Mr. Peanut looked at him through his monocle, motioning him to enter. Cherry was a hard worker, but rather skittish. He glanced nervously around the room, cautiously working his way toward Mr. Peanut's desk. Mr. Peanut missed Pitcher Man's old right hand, a rather slippery young man named Fruit Smack. Unfortunately, he passed away early in his career. Cherry was useful, but Mr. Peanut wouldn't be able to elevate him as Pitcher Man's replacement. No matter, he had other plans.

Cherry reached the desk, unsure if he was supposed to sit or stand. He looked at Mr. Peanut, and Peanut smiled back at him, motioning to the chair. He wouldn't speak – not for a while, at least. He's found that saving his words for only the most important moments left an air of mystery that intimidated both friends and enemies alike. This intimidation would be useful now. Cherry seated himself in the chair, stirring in it the moment he landed.

"Uh, so Pitcha Man's asked me ta inform ye that he, regretfully, won't be able ta visit ye in person." Cherry's accent came out especially strong. "He apologizes for the errors in the most recent job ye had fer us, but unforeseen developments in the Hines's privacy practices made it so that we couldn't keep our work as… invisible as we'd'a liked it ta be."

Cherry looked at Mr. Peanut, red sweat dripping down his packet. Peanut noticed this, standing up from his desk and starting to walk toward the window. He looked out of it, breathing in slowly. Cherry continued to speak. "He also wanted ta know if he could visit his son. Apparently the big guy's got a heart somewhere in that big pitcha of his." Mr. Peanut turned around and stared at him, allowing his eyes to bore into Cherry. Cherry stirred. "He's offered to do a job for ye, free of charge. He just wants ta see Kool-Aid." Mr. Peanut shook his head and opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm afraid Pitcher Man won't be doing any jobs for the foreseeable future, nor will he be seeing his son. I'm moving forward with other business arrangements." Cherry looked at Mr. Peanut, dumbfounded. It was clear he didn't understand. Peanut looked back at him. "I suggest you look for new work. Pitcher Man will no longer be working in the business." He added an emphasis to this last sentence. Cherry understood his meaning.

"I see. I'll tell the boys, too." Cherry stood and began to walk toward the door. After he was fully out of the room, Mr. Peanut sighed. He could take off his professional personality. He walked back to his desk and sat down, placing his top hat to the side. It was a shame to lose Pitcher Man's services. It would be difficult to find a suitable replacement while his alternative developed. The irony of his plan made him smile. The death of his partner has given him a new partner. The one thing Pitcher Man cared about was now the tool that allowed for his downfall. Smythe didn't need a business partner, for he now, in a funny way, had a son.

Smythe stood and walked out of his office. He had to check on Kool-Aid, his future saboteur.


End file.
